Feeling Needed
by MonaCK
Summary: Can Carlos and Levine help each other?


Spoilers: Through season 6 - More Monsters  
Authors Note: This is a post-fic to More Monsters, picking up from where they left off in the firehouse. And thanks, everyone, for your reviews on my last story :)  
  
She listened from the bottom of the stairs.  
  
She probably wasn't supposed to -- but she did, pausing when she heard more voices from upstairs as was about to step off of the bottom stair. The soft voice of Kim, and the equally soft voice of Carlos, as they talked to each other. Biting her lip, she stepped aside, trying to strain to hear what they were saying.  
  
She wasn't successful.  
  
She probably shouldn't have been eavesdropping, but it was part of what she did, listening, picking up on the voice, feelings, emotions of others. It was what she had done for Kim - Kim who she owed her life to. She knew that instinctively. Kim had acted selflessly in the face of great danger, putting herself in front of the gunman so that no one was hurt.  
  
Holly smiled without thinking. The phone call. The proposal over the phone that had made Holly's own heart do a flip. There were few things in life that seemed more right than true love, and from the moment she had met both Jimmy Doherty and Kim Zambrano, she knew that the two were destined to be together. It was written in the stars, really. It was plain as the night's sky that they would drift back into each other's lives.  
  
The floor creeked above her, and it jarred Holly back to where she was. Her hand was lightly resting on the bottom of the railing of the stairs, and her eyes drifted upwards. Another thing that she had a knack for was being there when people needed her, whether they realized it or not. It had calmed Kim down when Holly had reassured her on the floor of the bathroom. And she knew that Carlos was finding out the news that she already knew - that Kim was not going to come back - and the end result of that was Carlos was going to need her.  
  
Carlos, who had been through so much. Carlos, who tried to cover with a bravado that wasn't really there. He didn't see it, but she did. She always had eyes when others had none. And him showing off - trying to impress Grace who could barely stand to be in the same room with Carlos...  
  
She probably should have just left, but she knew that she couldn't. She knew that she probably wasn't wanted, but she had to at least try - try to reach out for him. Because she didn't want to admit how much it had scared her to think that something might have happened to him in the fray in the hospital that day.  
  
Perhaps deep down she knew it wasn't possible. Carlos was made of some pretty strong stuff, and there was this connection thing... oh, it wasn't something that was obvious. She knew it wasn't something that Carlos necessarily believed in or felt, but Holly sure did. Holly felt The Connection from the first moment she had ever met Carlos Nieto. There was only one other man in the world who she had felt that connection with...  
  
Her hand drifted towards the locket around her neck. Had he really been gone for three years? Her smile softened, lost in a memory.  
  
He was happy for her. Really, he was. He only wanted Kim to be happy. Amazing how a couple of years changed things. He was really going to miss her, but he knew that she was doing what was right for her. With the new baby coming, it would have not been good for any of them to be worried about her whenever she stepped out onto the street to treat a trauma, or get shot at at the hospital...  
  
He ran a hand through his hair, not daring to look back at Kim before heading down the stairs. He was intending on heading home, maybe kicking back with a beer or two while waiting for his roommate to get home. Davis had looked like crap when Carlos had last saw him, and in actuality, Carlos would be surprised if he saw the guy come home at at all. If he was released from the hospital, he probably was going to spend the night with Monroe or something.  
  
He began to walk down the steps, his backpack slung over one shoulder, when he spotted Levine standing at the bottom of the stairs. She was looking into the distance, doing that weird staring thing she sometimes did, when it seemed like she was on a planet that was not our own.  
  
He stopped dead in his tracks. Maybe if he was really quiet, he could sneak by her, heading out the door before she noticed. He hesitated once again. No, he couldn't do that. In a small way, she had actually helped today. Okay, maybe it was more than in a small way. She'd defended Kim to Grace, who seemed to be even more ornary than when he had first met her.  
  
He took another step down the stairs. He decided that if she noticed him, he would stop and talk to her. Otherwise, he was just going to go home and get lost in that beer. Maybe some nachos. Maybe he'd stop at that Mexican place on Fifth and pick up some of those really good nachos to bring home to go with his beer.  
  
Another step and a creek. He watched as Holly straightened, and then turned, her shoulders relaxing when she spotted Carlos. Carlos cleared his throat, suddenly feeling awkward, almost as if she had interrupted him in some sort of transgression. That totally didnt make any sense, though. This was just Levine.  
  
She felt him before she could see him. In fact, she knew that he was standing there probably for a full minute before she acknowledged him. And she knew he was probably going to try to leave without saying anything to her. It was just the way that he was. She understood him - probably better than he understood himself.  
  
When she finally turned towards him, she couldn't help but smile.  
  
"I thought you left," he finally stated, his hand gripping the strap of his backpack. He shifted on his feet. Holly knew that he was probably uncomfortable. But that didn't phase her. Carlos needed her. And she was going to make sure that she was there for him - whether he realized it was going to happen or not.  
  
"I was waiting for you," she stated with a shrug, her smile softening. "I thought.. you know, I'm a little hungry. I was thinking maybe..."  
  
She smoothed down her sweater with her hands. "I was thinking that maybe we could go grab a bit to eat. Have you ever been to that Mexican place over on Fifth? I've had such a craving for some of those nachos - oh, I know they're not very good for you, but sometimes it's just so great, having something with the cheese oozing, and they are so good from that place. I love it when they're right out of the oven, and..."  
  
Carlos' mouth was agape. And it was only when Levine noticed this when she stopped talking. "What's wrong, Carlos?"  
  
Carlos' lips quirked into a half smile. "I was.. I mean..." He ran his hand through his hair, making it look even more unrulely than it usually did. "I mean.. I was going to.." He shook his head, and a full smile spread on his lips. "I don't know if I'll be very good company..."  
  
He continued to walk down the stairs, and she leaned her head towards the side, watching him until he finally reached the landing. "I don't know if I'll be very good company either." She bit her lip, her eyes darting from his to a picture that was hanging on the firehouse wall. "But I do know that I really don't want to be alone right now..."  
  
She could feel tears filling her eyes and she hated them, wishing at times she wasn't quite so empathic, and quite so much of a feeler. It always sent her close to the edge, especially during an emotionally draining day like she and the others had just experienced. She could have died that day. They all could have died. But they didn't. That made her want to celebrate life and realize that there was so much left to live for, and also made her realize that life was too short.  
  
He was hedging. She knew it because he hadn't left yet. He shifted his feet again, and brought his eyes to hers. "Do you... do you like extra cheese on your nachos? Because if you don't like extra cheese, all bets are off...."  
  
She found herself smiling again. And she nodded. "Of course," she began, cocking her head to the side. "Extra cheese."  
  
He said nothing as he walked towards the door. And she said nothing as she followed him. Maybe, just maybe, she needed him just as much as he needed her. 


End file.
